Basic Tips
• Don’t expect one big happy family or for children to love their stepparent or stepsiblings. Remember relationships take a long time to develop.
• When two families combine children may lose their place in the family. Help define them as individuals by highlighting their unique characteristics or skills.
• Because the stepfamily is often combining several families it is important for both the step and biological parents to be involved in planning routines and rules that all children will adhere to. Remember to consider both families and be flexible.
• Make the children feel part of the household by ensuring they have a personal space of their own. It is desirable for children to have their own room or bed. If you can only provide temporary sleeping arrangements, set aside a permanent spot for them such as a drawer where they can keep some of their special things.
• Use family meetings to involve teenagers in developing household rules and a roster for the family, and to bring up any issues that are bugging people. Keep meetings informal and plan fun times as well.
• Acknowledge the adjustments required of all family members, each time children come on contact visits. You may need to make some allowances for children who are not in the household full time.
• Aim to be fair and treat all children the same. This means sticking to some basic family rules and not indulging children when they come on contact visits.
For further information visit: http://www.stepfamily.org.au
