When We Can Get Out Of Our Own Way, We Can Do Anything
Your biggest challenge will always be you (specifically your thoughts and your emotions); not your boss, not your genetics, not your bank balance, not your situation or circumstance, not your parents and their lack of support or understanding and not your ability or lack thereof.
Overcoming Self-Limiting Beliefs
- We all have core beliefs. Things which consciously or not, we have made to be truth in our mind. Some of those beliefs serve us well and are positives in our lives, while others simply get in the way of our potential and our possibilities. To a large extent our beliefs dictate our behaviour, which in turn determine the type of results we produce in our world. In many ways our beliefs become our reality - Even if only in our mind.
By the way, that's where we live - our mind.
We think we live on a certain street in a particular suburb
- we don't; that's just where we spend our time. We actually do most of our living in that space between our ears. That's why we can see two people (who appear to be) in the exact same situation or circumstance, going through the same process... each having a totally different experience. They are creating their own experience irrespective of what appears to be happening in their world. To the outside observer they seem to going through the exact same thing but in reality (that is, their head), they are not. While we all inhabit a very physical world, most of us actually live in a very cerebral and emotional place much of the time.
Believing Better
- Let's consider the two guys who get fired from the same position, by the same company on the same day. Dude One believes that this event is the beginning of the end for him. He has always believed that he wasn't really good enough for the job and now it has been confirmed. He feels his future is looking bleak and based on his self-limiting beliefs and his negative thinking (not based on his talent or potential), it probably will be bleak. He will sabotage his own future and waste his considerable talent. Like many before him.
Dude Two believes that his departure from the company is a timely opportunity for him to step into a new and exciting direction. A chance to do something he's passionate about. Maybe start his own business. He believes he hasn't even begun to explore his potential and he's excited by that prospect. He also believes that things happen for a reason and that every event is an opportunity for him to learn something and to grow. Dude Two actually has less talent and potential than Dude One but because of his different beliefs (and therefore different choices, behaviours and reactions) he will create better results in his life. In this situation he has created a better reality for himself. Why, because he lives in his head, not the situation.
Learning to get out of our own way
- The truth is that many of us spend much of our lives under-achieving, not because of circumstances, events, luck, fate, destiny, chance or other people but primarily because of our self-limiting beliefs. Some of us have spent decades letting our fearful, negative mindset get in the way of our amazing potential and countless opportunities. Maybe it's time to change that? Years of working with people in this area has taught me that the biggest obstacle to success is not typically the individual's ability or potential but rather their self-imposed limitations.
Unless you're unique to mankind, then right now you are limited (in some way, big or small) by your own disempowering beliefs. On some level, your mind is a barrier to your possibilities.
The Fear Factor
- These are controlled, if not negatively impacted in some way, by fear - on a regular basis. Fear of failure. Fear of being humiliated. Fear of rejection (a biggie). Fear of poverty. Fear of isolation and loneliness (another biggie). Fear of criticism. And last but not least, fear of pain. That's right; they don't like hurting so they seek a comfortable and pain-free existence. Good luck with that. Fear keeps them in that emotional prison; the very place which keeps them miserable, frustrated and compromised. Unfortunately, comfort and personal growth don't generally go hand in hand.
Face your fears
- Not later. Not next week. Not when it's more convenient. Not when 'the time is right'. Not when all the planets have aligned. Not when it's more practical or comfortable. No, now! Stop bullshitting yourself, stop compromising - stop rationalising justifying and explaining. And stop with all the excuses. You might be fooling you, but you're not fooling the rest of us. The truth is that most of us know exactly what we need to do, but often what we need to do (1) Ain't what we want to do (what we're comfortable with) and (2) scares the crap out of us.
Newsflash: Things don't "work themselves out", we do.
